El y Ella ( work in progress)

Ext- Tijuana Mexico- Day Ella is at Abuelita Chencha's house sitting down on the skateboard she once played with under what at one point she used to see as the humongous fig tree. She is looking in the direction of entrace a iron doors we go into her mind. And the iron doors turns into tall wooden door. She sits on her skateboard and is softly singing a song. Ella: Una rata vieja que era planchadora. Por planchar ajeno se quemo la cola. Se puso un trapito y ala pobre rata le quedo... El approaches her from behind. He is a young adult of 19 years of age. He is wearing Jeans and a mustard color coat. He has a big smile on his face and the dimple on his left check is enhanced. He walks behind her caressing her hair. Running his fingers behind her back as he sits next to her on the skateboard. El y Ella: y ala pobre rata le quedo un rabito. She knows that he is there she can feel his presence and smiles. Ella: I miss you. El: I know. Ella: Everything looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. But you are missing. You see the tree is still here. Looks smaller don't you think. El: It's been 13 years. Ella: Yes but everything is still in the same place. Look at the hook. It's the one that go in your eye and made you cry blood that one day. El: No you thought I was crying blood. Ella: Yes and you ran down to tell them. Even though you new you might get in trouble for not watching me. El: Yo were more important. You were always more important than anything in my life. Before you I was alone. Ella: How could I not see it. It was always there. The signs, the warnings. The supreme being kept on warning me. Kept on telling me that you would be gone. And once again I would be alone. All the signs. You crying blood was a sign. El: (Laughs) I was not crying blood. That was my lucky day. The hook got stuck on my lid so I started bleeding and you thought I was crying blood because my tears had blood. Ella: Yes I thought you were going to turn into a chameleon. Like the onces that used to run around in el cerro de la nana Andrea. El: But like always you got me a taco de adovada de con El Gallo and I felt better. Ella: Yes those where the best. You used to love them. The puesto is still there. And El Gallo is still around. I can believe even he is still around and you are gone. I thought those tacos where medicine. They alway made you feel better. that and my brujeria. I cured you so many times. El: Like the time you didn't want to take me to the tardeada. You're first love. Enrique. You wanted to go dancing with him and I wanted to go too. I waited while you danced away. Why did you like him anyway. He was ugly. Ella: I know He was. But he was the best fighter and the tallest of all of them. I don't know why I liked him so much. Man I was only 12 years old. I didn't really think about looks. You know he was there at the funeral and We thought about all those times. They where all here. Imelda, Jorge, Chava, Monchis and Enrique. We ate tacos and remembered that day of the tardeada. El: Yes I was so happy that you took me with you. I was only 10 years old and you thought you where so big and didn't want to take me. But I begged you and you ended up taking me. Ella: Yes and then you fell cause of that stupid dog running after you and Rafita when he was giving you capuchi. El: You where so scared. Thank you for taking me with you that day. I know how much you wanted to feel mature and go alone with your friends to that tardeada but you took me. Ella: Man your face got so swollen and I thought with a taco you would get better. El: Well I stopped crying didn't I. Ella: Yea but your face gave us up. El Y Ella: jajaja. La Primera comunion Ella: Shut up. I can't believe that thanks to you. I had to do my first communion with a scab on my nose. You always getting into fights and I had to defend you. El: I didn't tell you to get on top of the trunk of the tree. you did that all alone. Ella: Yes but you and Buby where supposed to hold me. El: And you say I was the one always getting into fights. How about you. Ella: I had to defend you and my self. Stupid girls always trying to kick my ass because I was smaller. I had to stand my ground and show them. I had to fight. I had to prove that maybe I was small but not weak. El: The day you got in the fight with the girafonas? The time they called Imelda ballena. I'm sorry I was not on your side. I was just afraid they would kick your ass and wanted to get you out of there. Ella they where twice your height. And you wanted to fight them. What were you thinking. That's why I had to pretend I was on their side. I didn't want to but it was the only way to get you out of there. Ella: I knew. I alway knew what you where trying to do. But I had to. they insulted my best friend and they called me a sacatona. I am no sacatona. I was not even 4'11 if I would of backed out they would of never respected me. They would have continued bothering me. El: Yes but you where fighting like if you where their height. Everyone came out even the carnicero. They talked about that fight for years. You told her that if you were no sacatona and called her a pinche girafona. And that if she wanted to kick your ass to do it. That you were not afraid. I was so nervous. I could not believe. that the almost 6 feet tall girafona. Turned around and walked away. Ella Y el : jajaja Piche jirafona sacatona. Ella: But they never picked on us after. They were there too at the funeral. El: Are you still like that. Ella: If I have too. But now days people don't pick on me anymore. They think I'm nice. That makes me mad. I don't like people to think I'm nice. I do what I do because I want to because I feel it in my heart and in my soul. Not for people to think I'm nice. El: Ya ! you little fighter and then you wonder why fabi is the way he is. He's a little fighter too. I've seen him. Ella: He reminds me alot about you. Except he is not so much of a dare devil like you. He loves music, art and like us he loves to skate board. But He would never get on a three wheeler like we used too. Which is good i guess. Remember that day en los arenales. El: When you thought I was drowning. Ella: No. You where drowning. That day I thought we almost lost you. You all alone going up that hill in the three wheel bike. You where crazy. When the lady said a little boy rolled down the hill and is drowning in the pond.I knew it was you. El: It was not my time yet. Ella: And there you go after you almost drowned back on the bike. El: My dad. I had to do it or I would alway be scared of bikes. Ella: And you loved bikes,just the way you loved cars. You loved anything that had speed never afraid. Sometimes I think it was always there behind you. Just waiting for the right moment to take you. for your time. Where you ever afraid of death. El: No I don't think I ever really thought about it. Ella. Death. Va fan Culo Death always following you. And then it stroke. Just at the blink of an eye. El: It's not your fault. Ella: I just think If I would of been here and not in LA I could of saved you. El: It was just my time. Ella: Que Chinge a su madre el Pichenche tiempo.If I would of been here with you. I could of saved you. I saved you every other time. Some times I think that you chose to leave. Why only you. Nothing happened to anyone one else in the car but you. El: You have to let go and understand that it was my time and I had completed my mission. Ella: I try to understand believe me. I tell my self in a million different ways. In all the fucken languages that I understand. that it was your time. But It still hurts. And I just ask the lord that there be a reason why you are no longer here. That the once that did make it really live their lives to the fullest. But you hugged her so hard. You saved her life. You hugged her with all your body. Every single part of your body was broken and all she got was scratches. That was your choice and that I have never questioned because I know your heart and I know you would have given your life for anyone and you did it for her. I hope in my heart that she is really appreciating it. I tell myself these things over and over and I just can't seem to get them through my head. We had it all when you where here. We were a happy family. Before that day I had never seen my mother break. I had an image of her as a strong women. And that day when they lowered your casket onto the earth. She was a different woman to me. She cried like a baby until she could not cry anymore. I was so mad I wanted to open the door in the car and throw my self out. El: She's the strong women she always was. She knows that I will always be in her heart. You have given her that gift. You gave her Fabi. She is a very strong women and you have learned well from her. When her fist son died your where her gift. The power to make her strong to keep her hear pumping with love. And when I left you gave her fabi. She loves him just the way she loved me. And he loves her like a mother just the way I love her. Ella: I wanted you so much to see him. You wanted me to have a child so bad. And I couldn't. He is exactly the way abuelita Chencha would describe him. But you never got to meet him. I tell him about you all the time. I tell him how much you loved him even before he came into this world. I know that you send him to me. I remember. El: The dream? Ella: Yes you tested me right. You wanted to know if I was ready. You wanted to know what was more important to me my career or him. and then you gave him to me. That's what that dream was about. And the treats of abortion that took me to the hospital. It was all you making sure I deserved him. I remember that dream so clearly. Since that day. I knew fabi would be a boy. You came in and I knew it was you even though you had a costume. You told me that If I had the baby that I would live to be 126 years old, that my husband would leave me for another woman and that I would never succeed as and actress. Then you told me it was a boy and asked me to give him to you and said that if I did. Everything would be good. I would be successful and my husband would love me for ever. I looked at you and even though I love acting more than anything in the world I said no to you. I said I would not give you my son. Even If I never made it as an actress. I remember the smile on your face when you elevated and then everything was fine. The treat of loosing the baby was gone. I was healthy again and my pregnancy continued. I had the time of my life. El: You made the right choice. Fabi is a special child and I needed to know you where worthy of him. Ella: And you lied. Because I have him and I have success in all aspects of my life. El: And you need to enjoy it. There is one more thing you need to master. Ella: What is it? El: You need to accept that I am gone. You need to let me go. Please don't keep me here any longer. Don't be afraid. You have it all and once you let me go you will see how it will all manifest it self and you will be able to have everything you alway dreamed of. You have him. Invest your energy, time, love and passion on him and let me go... ( incomplete work in progress to be continued)

Quién eres hombre pájaro?

¿Quién eres hombre pájaro?

Flaco, largo, y desnudo. Trepado en es ese árbol muerto y sin hojas.

¿Quien eres hombre pájaro?

Mirando así a mi casa con esos ojos grandes y saltados.

Trepado sobre ese árbol. Doblado como liga y flaco como zancudo.

¿Quién eres hombre pájaro?

¿Qué representas, qué quieres conmigo y por qué te temo...?

Acaso hombre pájaro representas mi miedo al fracaso o mi miedo al triunfo?

Te veo desde aquí. Desde mi cama de la cual no me puedo levantar y correr.

Quiero gritar y no me sale la voz.

Por que hombre pájaro. ¿Por qué te temo?

Acaso eres la muerte o la vida.

Acaso eres el pasado o el futuro.

¿Quién eres hombre pájaro?

Con esa mirada fijada en la mía.

Que sin palabras me dices " ‘Hora si te va a llevar la Chingada"

¿Quién eres hombre pájaro y qué quieres de mí?

Lo que tú no sabes hombre pájaro es que en esa otra dimensión, en ese otro mundo hay alguien que me quiere y me cuida.

¿Qué pensabas hombre pájaro, desnudo flaco y desnutrido?

¿Qué él te permitiría llegar hasta mi cuarto?

Nunca imaginaste que él se pararía.

¿Qué aunque su cuerpo este muerto su espíritu está lleno de vida.

Nunca pensaste hombre pájaro que él te detendría.

¿Qué pensabas hombre pájaro, qué mi voz nunca saldría?

¿Qué creías hombre pájaro, qué el no se arriesgaría.

Te equivocaste hombre pájaro... Te equivocaste hombre pájaro...

Ya no te temo hombre pájaro … Me arriesgo hombre pájaro…

No le temo hombre pájaro, ni al triunfo ni al fracaso.

Historia de una novia de playa

Lucía perfecta la novia de playa una mañana de junio.



Pues hoy la novia de playa se uniría al amor de su vida.



Se sentía dichosa la novia de playa mientras por una pequeña ventana admiraba con aquel que esa mañana de junio se uniría para toda una vida.



Como un velo la dicha cubría la cara, el cuerpo y el alma de la bella novia de playa.



Con imensa emosion, en su mente veía como su vida sería después de ese soleado día.



Diez minutos de observar a su amado en silencio pasaron.

Cuando a su derecha de pronto voltea, y con una sonrisa observa a su amiga que esa mañana tan bella la asiste con detalles de alteración en su vestido de novia.



Un hermoso vestido blanco de talle alto con una cola de diez metros de largo y cinco de ancho. Para la cual la puerta delantarera de la cabaña se mantiene abierta y de la cual la bastilla ligeramente toca la arena.



Cuando la novia de playa separa sus labios y expresa su dicha al nombrar a su amado.



Así a ella voltea su amiga y con dolor en sus ojos le dice a la novia de playa que esta equivocada.



Le recuerda que esa mañana de junio al que por la pequeña ventana fijamente adira solo es un invitado más. Que esas nenas vestidas de rosa con las que el juguetea son sus hijas pero no de ella.



Con dolor en la voz le menciona, Que hubo el Tiempo cuando a ella la amaba. Pero el Amor murió el dia que la mayor de ellas nació.



En ese momento la novia de playa recordó lo que su corazón un día borro.



De su ojo izquierdo una lagrima soltó a la cual un suspiro siguió. Lentamente hacia fuera caminó y así a ellos se dirijió. Ligeramente con su mano a la mayor roso y con un abrazo de él se despidió.


En un hermoso Barco se subió y después de su primer paso la novia de playa aceptó que esa mañana de junio se uniría por tristesa y no por amor.

Loca Necesidad

Siento en la piel, en el alma y en lo mas profundo de mis entrañas una necesidad loca de verte.



De perderme en tu mirada y en tu cuerpo.



En mi mente veo tus ojos grandes y oscuros con ese brillo que solo tu tienes al mirarme.



Quiero acariciar tu piel y derramarme en tu cuerpo.



Quiero oler tu piel y con mi nariz consumirme en tu olor unico.



Deseo besar tu abdomen y con mis dedos tocarte suavemente desde el mas pequeño dedo de tus pies hasta llegar a tu boca y lentamente rozar tus carnosos labios y tu sonrisa chueca.



Quiero que tu cuerpo y el mio se unan hasta convertirse en uno.



Quiero que sientas la loca necesidad de meterte en mi alma, en mi corazon y cuerpo.



Para juntos sentir el amor y pasion que siento por ti y tu sientes por mi

Siento Dolor en mi alma

Siento dolor en mi alma. Al pensar que pronto me alejare.
Pienso en los que han dejado su marca. Y me han convertido en esta mujer.
Siento mis ojos sudando y repletos de lagrimas que no podre contener.
Veo imgenes en mi mente y recuerdo el momento en que a sus vidas entre.

Siento dolor en mi alma. Al pensar en el ultimo dia que los vere.
Con nostalgia recuerdo el dia que a mi vida entraron y sin querer su huella dejaron. Con cario a cada uno recuerdo y me duele tener que partir.

Pienso en el momento que me dijeron que con el tiempo mi corazon se endureceria y miro que hoy que me voy ese momento no nunca llego.

Cada uno de ellos es un ser bello, lleno de historias de drama y de vida.

Pienso en el dia que en mi puerta se paro ese hombre ciego y me pido ayuda para regresar a su tierra. Ese dia en el que el solo queria morir. Y que yo sin saber lo que el destino le raparia le pedi una oportunidad. La oportunidad de regresarle el amor a la vida.

Hoy veo a ese hombre que un dia llego sin hogar, sin familia y con las manos vacias. Vivo y luchando por su vida.

Pienso en el Joven con cara bonita que debio de ver nacido mujer. Que con constancia me insiste en darme un cambio de imagen y por miedo, yo por cobarde, jams e dicho que si.

Pienso en el hombre humilde de Guatemala que viaja 3 horas y toma 5 autobuses, se pone su pantalon de mezclilla, botas vaqueras y brillantina en el cabello para venirme a verme. Y en una bolsita de plastico me obsequia un pollo rostisado y un bolillo.

Pienso en la mujer Paraguayana que planea todo detalle de su muerte esperada y me llama chiquita. Que cada tres meses me habla por que ya le toca. Que a leguas se le nota que viene de abolenco pero que la vida la ha llevado a vender perfumes y tamales. Que con orgullo dice que le salen tan buenos como los mexicanos. Y la mayor meta en su vida es pagar los estudios de enfermeria a su hija Noel.

Pienso en el viejo Colombiano que cada que me visita porta un delicioso pastelillo de queso y membrillo.

Pienso en los que me han insultado por desesperacion, en los que me han mentido por necesidad y en los con sincerada me agradecen mi labor

Does she look like me?

" Officer I think my friend is in there, I've been waiting for more than 3 hours and she doesn’t come out. Do you think you can check?" I asked the Anglo officer that was walking by. " I think I saw her does she look like you?" Ask he. " What do you mean? Does she have dark skin like me, brown hair and brown eyes is she Latina like me? Then yes she does look like me? Is she Mexican? Long brown hair, large eyes and petite like me NO! She does not look like me. "Said I. " No.No." stuttered he. " That is not what I mean. I will check to see if your friend is in there." As he took off. " She also bleeds, breath, laughs, loves, cries, yells, fights and is a human being like you and I Sr. defender of Home Land Security." June 7th the last day I saw my friend with out the fish glass between us. " Viva chile. Pinches gringos puñeteros."

Spirit of Wellness.

I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you, which is of Love, of Light, of Peace and of Truth. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one! Namaste.